Finding Peace When Your Family Member Is An Active Addict
Drug addictions are no longer something that only happens to people we don’t know or in low income areas. Chances are you know someone personally either in your family or friend circle who has or is suffering from a drug addiction. The LDS community is not immune from the grips of substance abuse.
In situations where there is an addiction, much of the focus is placed on the addict themselves making sure they get the treatment and help they need. But there are others who also suffer not from the drugs themselves but in dealing with the effects the addicts choices have had on their lives.
Today, Crystal Hansen opens up about what it’s like having a father who is addicted to drugs and how over the years she has had to learn to set healthy boundaries so that she can not only take care of herself but also have a much better relationship with her father. Through her own experiences she is helping coach those in a similar situation so they too can learn to care for themselves when helping a family member addicted to drugs.
Takeaways:
- When you have a family member who is an addict, you can end up becoming a non-voluntary care-taker. The need for boundaries is so necessary so you can take care of yourself.
- We often think the best way to help an addict is to love them. But what do you do when there’s so much resentment and hurt? Crystal says to focus on loving you first.
- There is a lot of shame when dealing with an addict and you have to make sure you don’t make their problem mean anything about you.
- You can still have a meaningful relationship with a drug addict family member but it takes work and boundary setting.
- We want to love the people around us. When we learn how to truly love we can love and still set boundaries of “I love you and…” or “I love you but…”.
- Boundaries when dealing with addicts always need to be rooted in safety. They also need to be void of judgement.
Discussion Points:
- If you have a family member who is addicted to drugs, how have you dealt with it and what are you doing to get the care you need to take care of yourself?
- What are your biggest fears in having a family member who is addicted to drugs and what do you feel is your role in their recovery? Do you want to fill that role?
- If you feel you have gotten to a good place in dealing with a family member who has an addiction, what is one piece of advice you would give to someone else going through a similar situation?